Diary of a Nympho

Aug

 

I promised details - and I always deliver.

Friday night arrived in a cacophony of mayhem - I had to work late and was, therefore, running late. I'd had possibly the most stressful work week of my life and was ready to kick back, relax, have a drink, and view some new sex toys (not necessarily in that order).

Oddly enough, I and my two friends arrived just on time. There were about 10 women there, most of whom I knew vaguely, and we all sat in a big circle in the living room around what, at first, appeared to be an alter to Aphrodite. It was covered in assorted bottles of oils and lotions and creams, and various other sexual playthings. The toys weren't out yet, but there was underwear and lingerie laid out as well.

The spiel was lightening quick and before the first 20 minutes were done, my hands and arms were covered in lotions and oils that served varying purposes, and my chest was aglow with glitter. We got to sample just about everything. I had the strangest taste in my mouth, since all of it was edible and I'd mixed it with my beer. There are oils and lotions for everything you can dream up. Like a Virgin was an oil that made your pussy tighten up for a tighter fit, there was one that numbed the back of your throat to kill your gag reflex, and even one that loosened up your asshole for anal penetration. I can't even remember half of what all I saw, there was such an assortment. It was a rich nympho's dream and a poor nympho like me's utter frustration. We took a short break as she picked up the bottles and laid out the real stars of the night - the toys.

I've never seen so many dildoes, vibrators, clit-suckers, butt plugs and weighted balls in all my life. I wanted one of everything. Of course, my meager paycheck does not allow for many sexually-oriented splurges, so I really had to get just what I desired the most.

Let me take the time now to introduce you all to my new friend who is as-yet-unnamed. His given name is the Jelly-Gyrating-Beaver and he's as fun as he sounds. I honestly wasn't going to buy a new vibrator. As I said, the one I have works just fine and is new. Yet as I sat there looking at the ones in front of me, I remembered that when I'm using a vibrator (outside of the tub) I always wished for something to also be vibrating on my clit. This is one of those deals you see with the little beaver on the top of the vibrator that stimulates your clit whilst the the other part is fucking you. I was in a mad rush to find batteries Saturday morning as soon as I woke up, and let me just say this about my new friend...wow. I really wasn't expecting it to be quite as good as it was. I'm sure you'll be hearing more about this new toy in posts to come.

The next purchase, that I'm equally as satisfied with, is a cream called Nympho Niagra. This was gotten on recommendation from the hostess of the party, a good friend and fellow-nympho-Scorpio. She raved about it, and I remembered another nympho-Scorpio friend telling me the same thing about the cream. I had to try this. As opposed to those warming-to-make-you-tingle lotions (which I'm not fond of) this is a cooling one. I will admit that I spent the better part of Saturday just rubbing this stuff on my clit and pussy while I went about doing my everyday chores. As soon as it would wear off, I'd dab on some more. It's listed as an "arousal stimulator" and I can say that I certainly was more aroused than even usual (which is really saying something). When P. dropped by to see my new toys and help me try them out, we were both amazed at just how much I came afterwards. I wasn't wet, I was sopping. So, if you can get some of this, do.

Not much else to report at this point. I've been playing with both of my purchases all weekend long, and as soon as money permits, intend to contact the saleslady and order a few more things. I promise to divulge any new and exciting exploits involving these new things...and you know, I always deliver.

Aug

 

A dear friend of mine created a mock resume for a male entertainer/trained satyr. I thought it was too funny, and thought you might enjoy it as well...

Objective
To entertain, and woo the hearts of all women.

Experience
1990–1994 Natural Mystic - Natchitoches, LASales Manager
Increased sales of cock rings by a quarterly average of 26%
Suggested new products that increased earnings by 23%.
Introduced new line of fetish videos of previously unknown genres, which increased sales by an annual average of 12%.

1985–1990 Leroy’s Escort Service - Horse Cave, KYSpokesman/Escort
Gained cliental by promoting myself in various shopping malls, super markets, and gas station bathrooms.
Introduced the “Kitty Cat/Pop Sickle” © technique. (see Skills below)
Was willing to compromise myself in order to obtain and secure customer relations.

Skills
Fully versed in the safe use of nipple clamps, duct tape, and the Double Trouble Sex Swing. Has full understanding of standard fire marshal codes for the state of Louisiana and Kentucky. Certified in C.P.R. Perfected the pleasurable technique known as the “Kitty Cat/Pop Sickle” © which bears my copyright. Is fully versed in all fetishes and has a full understanding of them with the exception of Golden Showers. Is willing to whore myself in the acquisition of liquid assets both domestic and foreign.

References
Candy Kane

Aug

 

It's been awhile - quite awhile, in fact. The sad truth of the matter is, my faithful friends, that the nympho just isn't getting any sex. At least, none that's noteworthy.

I am happy to report that sex is not yet dead in my life. There are some upcoming and promising sexual adventures slated for the near future. Just this coming Friday I'm to attend a "fun party". Think of it as a tupperware party for sex fiends like me.

It'll be good times-girls only, alcohol drinking-tasty treat eating, fun with lots of oils, lotions and toys to go over and consider buying. While I'm not in the market for a new toy (I just recently purchased one that's waterproof that I can combine with my shower massager in the bathtub - my b.o.b. life is complete), I am rather interested in sampling some numbing, tingling oils. My friends tell me there are oils to make your nipples tingle and ones to make your clit sing. I'd like 3 of each, please.

Of course, I'll report all of the naughty goings-on and give a full report on the good uses I'll put my new oils to; no worries there.

But today I'm suffering from lack of sex - or lack of really good, mind-blowing sex. You know, the kind that can only be termed as dirty, wild, animalistic, really sweaty sex. I want my toes to curl and my brain to feel like it's just exploded inside my head. I want to be lifted up to the heavens and come back down seeing stars. The kind that makes you find God (for a few seconds at least) and bless his sweet ass for creating the act you are engaging in at that moment. Sex that you just have to smoke a cigarette after.

You know what I mean?

And I like rough sex. If I'm not bruised and bloody afterwards, it wasn't my favorite kind of sex. Hurt me; break me - if you can. The more animalistic sex is, the better. Isn't it, in its purest and raw form, a primal, animalistic act anyway? Certainly. If you think it isn't, you're probably one of those women whose never had an orgasm before, or one of those men that can't get those women to achieve them. Don't argue - it's futile. I'm a nympho, and that means I'm an expert when it comes to sex. Sex should be animalistic - primal - raw - wild.

Know where I can get any like that??